Chaiyya chaiyya.

I can't believe that tomorrow is Wednesday! Yeeeeah, that is good news. I love that about school. How the days just burn on by. Last night, I met a handful of sweet and warm girls. Tomorrow, I will be having lunch with Annika, ain't that a fun name? Annika rhymes with Shaneequa, for pronunciation confusion purposes. Today, my Indian Cinema professor dropped the F bomb twice. In referring to the fact that the main British meal is now an Indian dish and how certain Indians completely denounce their Indian-ity and call themselves British. "Those fucking Paki's"...something or other was said here... "They fucking will say...". Oh, it was kinda weird to hear such a man incorporate profanity into his intellectual dialect.

I had no idea it's a Bollywood movie until this first number sprang on us. 

The gist: a man falls in love with a woman who barely speaks one word to him. He works for the radio, she's a terrorist. And they live happily ever after.

Actually, I don't know if that last part is actually true considering we didn't get to finish the movie... Wait, don't I have class from 12:30 to 3:30? And we started right away, yeah? Yup, it's THAT long.

Anyways, I have homework to attend to. I miss a few. I feel blessed. Chocolate covered cranberries are much too addicting for my own good. 

End scene.

My First Crush.

Don't undermine my new resolution.

Environmental professor seems great.

He looks like somebody, can't put my finger on it.

I just love learning, and notes, and seeing the passion in speakers.

Went to the UCen, had lunch.

Quickly did some dishes, took out the trash.

Called a cab to pick me up.

Smelled like a dirty, dirty ashtray of a vegas casino hell.

The train ride home felt longer than ever.

Plus delays.

5 and 1/2 hours long...

Luckily, Trevor Borden? Last name? came on the Santa Barbara stop.

We talked for the majority of the time til Union Station.

Such a cool kid.

He started showing me pictures from his travels towards the end of his ride.

But I feel like he got off on the wrong stop, the one before Union Station...

I hope that worked out okay for him.

Yikes.

Then some older gent sat next to me til Irvine.

He had a twitch in his eye that created a lot of momentum.

My seat would move on his eye twitching spasms.

My dad was so happy to see me.

He was hanging on my every word.

I told him that my heart lies in the city.

He said he could see that for me.

And that felt good.

Lilo remembered me!

Not that I didn't think she would, or anything.

She just never gives me a warm welcome.

Well, she was hopping up on me and loving me.

Overstuffed myself with home cooked food.

Worked out with Mandana.

She told me of her possible plans to move to NY?

Working for the legal dept. of  a designer/fashion.

She has connections that are helping her out.

I hope it works out for her.

My bed feels good.

Quiet feels good.

Lilo walking in the hallway, her nails skidding the wood, sounds good.

I'm tired.

Haircut tomorrow.

And, it's so hot here.

What kind of September day is 90 degrees?

She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast.

And this song, especially in THIS version, you know what?

It gets me.

Lye la lye.

I wonder why I was given certain traits. 

Here are a few:

Reading others- usually, I can feel out vibes off of people really well.

Listening- I'm pretty good at this.

Culinary Skills- To me, making food is like working in a chem lab.

Emotionally in check- sometimes, a little too in check to where I make emotion based decisions. It's a work in progress.

Organization- I like knowing where things are.

Poor feet- this ones weird. I blister much too easily which results in this question at least thrice a month,  "Are you limping?"

Poorly clotting blood- Von Willebrand Disease gives me character, right?

Public speaking- This is actually something I can do rather well, which surprises me still.

Cold sores- Thanks Mom. These bastards show up when I'm stressed and lacking proper sleep. Basically, when my immune system is low, this cruel notification surfaces. You betchya I got one yesterday afternoon. Carmex, anyone? Uhhhh, this is unfortunate.

Left brained- I analyze well. And, I love algebra. 

Right brained- What? How can you be both? Well I am. I appreciate the arts and its various spectrums to a great deal.

Well, now I feel as though I'm just making a list of what I can do and what I have wrong with me. No, I merely just was commenting on a few features that have been issued to me. And how each of these little strange things compile into me and my individualism. Then, I started thinking of how each person with their mannerisms, Christian and non Christian, who comes into my life is planned and placed there by God. And how each relationship is foreseen. Now this, this absolutely fascinates me. 

"Each of us is unrepeatable, a unique bearer and reflector of the glory of God. Nobody else can reflect God's light in exactly the same way as you can. But none of us is an independent person. We live in a web of dependencies, not only on God, but also on a world of people, including people who preceded us... The fact is that we are distinct persons created for communion, and we are a communion created to honor personal differences."

(Jasmine just read this to me, without her knowing anything of what I was writing. Instances of these kinds have been occurring very frequently lately.)

Also, the Screwtape Letters are quite good and am looking forward to reading more.

Anyway, I'm just here. Being me. That's all I got here.

Well, they'll take your soul if you let them.

These past 3 days have been ... intriguing. 

Living alone isn't really that bad, it's just not being in love with my environment that throws me off. Also, my dad's opinions. And what I'm meant to study or pursue. And my observance of: how much I looove cities vs. my lack of love for the beach, especially swimming in oceans. Living on campus is going to be challenging, which I knew in the beginning but I mean, I just didn't anticipate it as much. I felt very isolated and immobile inside my apartment so I just had to get out even if it meant a 2 and half hour commute that would take 15 minutes by car. Ah, my car. Now I'm at Westmont and all is good again. I'm happy, laughing from my gut and rebooting. I needed this so badly. Diana is my best friend. Jasmine is wholesome and refreshing. Daniel is perfect. Tomorrow can only be better. 

Yeah, everybody leaves if they get the chance.

The car is packed to the rim, the closet is scarce and I've said my goodbyes.

But it still doesn't feel real.

I keep listening to the sounds of my house.

Like, my sister brushing her teeth.

Lilo snoring.

My mom's footsteps down the hallway that tell me she's wearing her blue slippers.

What's it going to be like to not hear these things every night, as it's been for all my life?

Yeah, it's starting to get real deep.

I know its only 2 and 1/2 to 3 hours of a drive.

I know I can come home whenever I want to.

I know I have Diana close to me.

I know I signed up for it.

I know it's supposed to be really pleasurable. 

But this is my first time ever being apart from my family.

And I'm the baby of the crew.

And I genuinely love my home.

And I don't know one soul at my school.

And I won't have my car.

With that said, I feel really composed.

I feel like I'm ready to be independent rather than just have a sense of it.

I feel like I need this experience to grow.

I feel like it's going to be difficult and pressing.

I feel like there will be so much about my school that I will not agree with.

I feel like I'm secure enough with myself to make the best of it.

Also, I feel like what I'm beginning to go through spiritually is of much more worth.

And because of that particular feeling, you know what I think of this whole going off to college thing?

It's in the bag.