Blindsided.

I can't ever seem to get enough. I always want more more more. Why can't I just be satisfied and grateful? I'm never this way with anything else... besides maybe rice. Seriously though, I wish I could stop this ridiculously impractical need because I don't even really agree with it. I'm inevitably going to get hurt. Yeah, I can already see it coming. Last time around, I was on the other end of feeling smothered and look what I'm doing now. I bet this is the weird way karma gets back atchya. Alas, I should make an advanced effort in changing this mentality that has begun to settle in my psyche. I hope he doesn't know; it's already embarrassing enough in my own mind and now on my own blog. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of being nonchalant and easygoing, which, you know what, I am genuinely. Then I get to thinking and there I go being all selfish again. Also before I started writing this, I texted something to the effect of 'I miss you and I'm sorry if that's coming off too strong' type of deal. No response. Great! Now I feel so lame and clingy. asdkljdfgkljfg. And this is when I will put in a request for a mechanism that allows humans to shut off emotions that lead to unnecessary leaps of thought and judgment. SERIOUSLY I can't continue this way and I WILL NOT let it happen anymore. I'm taking a vow to myself to not be so emotionally invested and involved. I think I'm falling in likelustlove something or other and it's making me miserable. And....... end scene.

UPDATE: I have a serious case of what I like to refer to as overactive brain syndrome.