Track 19.

Oh man.
It's been a while blogger.
I started blogging 7 years ago. I got real into it for the first 3. Then I just became distracted with high school mumbo jumbo. You know, dramatic episodes and whatnot. Okay fine. I also started smoking weed. At that point, I probably wanted to write but couldn't focus long enough to actually complete a thought. Luckily, I've stopped smoking weed for a while now. Speaking of which, why did I even continue smoking for so long? It's not like I reaaaally enjoyed the heavy feelings in my lungs, or the binge eating or the lethargicity (I'm okay with making that word sound legit). My only explanation for it is that it was just around and convenient. Something to do and even look forward to, especially when nothing else is good enough. Like an unhealthy relationship where you clearly were never that emotionally invested in but they have latched onto you and oh, where did the time go? You find yourself knowing this person will never be right for you, definitely not somebody who you'd prefer to procreate with and is more of a heavy, but tolerable, weight than a relief. It's starting to get real depressing in this piece. Anyway, I've completely outgrown that blurry phase of my late teen years. Let me just say, I'll admit that I was a stoner and I'm definitely not proud but honestly, what am I going to do about it but just look back and laugh on my retarded mindless actions? There is no reason why I should make myself feel bad about it because well, I already have and it's just not the best of feelings. How did this blog become revolved around weed? That's enough. I'm in the summer of my sophmore year of college. I'm moving to Santa Barbara in oh, two and 1/2 months to continue my educational enrichment at UCSB. I have NO idea what to expect. I'm not even at the point of expecting. I'm just living in the complete present. Going with the beat of summer, you know? I've had a hardworking two years and I'm finally catching up with myself and all the changes. For now, I plan on discovering all the new music I've missed out on, rekindling my romance with black and white photography and training for a 5k in San Clemente on 7/20. There's also SF in late August for Outsidelands. And the prospect of a love affair. I'm not sure what that last ones doing or where it's going but I'm just going to keep on keeping on as I do. Mmmhm.