He'd like to come and meet us but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

I've just gotten back from taking Lilo on a drive. We used to do that a lot. I'd drive around Canyon Crest and have her sit on my lap. She usually puts her paws on the window and takes in the air. Her ears relax and I can just tell she feels like she's in her element. I had some Ray Charles going and I got a little sad. If I'm going to miss anything like crazy, it's going to be my fat-squished nosed-snorting-affectionate-bat-human-cat of a dog. 

I've also decided to let my mother take full control on this whole situation because it's just not going to be peaceful any other way AND a) sometimes I just have to let go of what I can't perfect b) maybe it's not supposed to be perfect c) I don't want to look back on these last days and regret. Today, I clipped an almost dramatic episode by the bud. I could sense it building so I took a deep breath, didn't react. Instead I just grabbed her tightly and hugged it out.

I saw Brittney today and it was so good! I went over to her house, we talked, she made me a grilled cheese and ham wrap, we baked sugar cookies, talked more. She's such a beautiful woman. When she walked me to her door, I almost cried and I had to just not look at her because I couldn't. make. eye. contact. Yeah, I plan on seeing her on Friday night and as I'm in school. I don't know what possessed me to feel emotional right at that moment. I've been really sensitive lately, alright?

Last night, I wrote an essay for Maaneli and stayed up pretty late as I was writing it. But, it was a good exercise for me to remember how to get back into the groove of homework. 4 months, has it been? Ouch. She decided to thank me by coming home before going into work at 7am, entering my bedroom, kissing my forehead and talking to me about coats? That last part is pretty hazy. 

One more thing, I've noticed random people coming out of the woodwork calling/texting me to hangout within the last day I'm home. Brian from italian? Chris Wakefield? Taylor? Karen Spain? Just kidding about Karen. I've actually been looking forward to seeing her and we're meeting up tomorrow afternoon, which is makes me so happy. 

And, as I was taking a nap today on accident. I had an odd dream. I was on state street alone. I was on the phone with Daniel. I had a coffee in my hand as I walked into a store. Then I walked out, recognized that I had someone else's coffee that was cold and not at all a coffee. It tasted like a hot green tea gone cold with only the backwash last few sips left. BUT it still felt heavy like the weight of a full drink. Then it quickly became dark and foggy. Daniel was still on the phone with me and told me to walk 3 blocks to to find Diana at the shuttle stop. Then I woke up. What?