Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Current Annoyance.

Nicole posted OLD pictures on facebook. I'm talking freshman year, sophomore year of high school. Mind you, I wasn't exactly confident in those years. In fact, I cringe when I see ANY image of myself from junior high until maaaaybe junior year of high school. Regardless, yeah, whatever they were "great" times we'll always have but do I really need them up on facebook? NO. NO I DO NOT. It just really bothers me! I've come out here, made wonderful new friends, never have to remind myself of times from back in the day and LOOK AT THAT, THERE THEY ARE. It really, severely frustrates me. Also, I was chubby and awkward. I really was SO uncomfortable then that I look to today and think, shoot... things have really physically changed for the better, even if I'm still not happy. But you know how they say the fat/chubby kid will always see themselves a fat/chubby even when they're 95 pounds... well, that's me (definitely not 95 pounds). And now, I get to be reminded of just how fat/chubby I really was. Years of mental blocking wiped away just like that.


I realize this is super shallow. probably vein or something. I don't care. It's serious to me. I guess it's true that they say you really can't escape the past, whether it be trauma or old pictures. In this case, I'm thinking trauma from old pictures is really what happened. Hopefully, no pictures of me with a bong will ever resurface and I KNOW there's some of those.

I'm just going to laugh. Laugh. Cry a little. Laugh. SO WHAT?! I wasn't cute! So what, I was a pothead, years down the line? Does it really matter anyway? It shouldn't but sometimes, it does. I'm more comfortable accepting that I was a pothead and smoked too much weed over looking at pictures of myself at 15. There has to be something wrong with that.

1 comments:

dianasaur said...

i think that sucks so badly. i mean its just annoying. untag yourself?

but i mean you look like a baby so everyone knows its from a long time ago!