Man, I've been wasting so much time...

Things I'd rather be doing than writing this paper:

Sleeping.

Watching The Wonder Years episodes online.

Showering.

Being at home.

- with Nicole, Britt and/or Natalia.

- sitting with Lilo on the couch, watching brainless tv.

- helping my sister study for the bar.

- driving.

Reading for leisure.

Doing yoga, going for a run, dancing.

Singing.

Sitting at Caje with Nyrie.

Listening to all the new releases on my laptop.

Kissing him -> my Kevin, the so called love of my life.

Straightening my hair.

Recording onto Garageband.

Working! Yeah, I know.

Vacuuming.

Burning all these books, articles, bullshit research I don't care about.

Talking to Heather about her hopes and fears.

Going out, having a drink or two and engaging in conversation.

Okay I think that's enough distraction Melody.

Get back.

And I will try not to sing outta key-aahh.

I love love love The Wonder Years. It just takes me back to summer days when my sister and I would do nothing but watch the awkward love dramas of Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper. I just can't help but think, where is my Kevin Arnold? Does he exist? Probably not. Thanks again, media, for planting unrealistic fantastical romance into my mind. That kinda shit ain't real! 

Maybe you're gone.

It's way too late to be awake.

This is college, right? Being up too late to write an essay?

Totalllyyyy.

I should just pull an all nighter, right?!

Well I won't.

If I do, I can be guaranteed a cold by tomorrow night.

Okay well at least I've written 2 solid pages. 

I'm really good at this, clearly.

I may be limpin but I'm coming home.

I will just distract myself. This is it. I burned 9 CDs onto my laptop today. SO good. Love that feeling. I think I will have a completely new and improved music library by the end of this KCSB career. In other news, I have essays upon midterms on top of group presentations towering over finals. Wonderful. ALSO, I have feelings for someone. Feeling this way makes me sick, literally, no appetite. Then I get ravenous. But mostly not hungry and really sick. That's a lie. I'm not at all having trouble with my appetite. I wish! No I don't. I'm just full of bullshit tonight. What else? I love Nyrie, she reminds me of family. And then this weather is crap. What the hell is this cloudy coldness in MAY?! I don't agree. Cold weather allows for me to be physically unmotivated. This summer will be one where I kick my own ass. And one where I help Mandana study for the bar exam. Basically, it'll be a not so much of a summer but just a catching up period, ya know? Yeah. YOU know. Okay. I really have to continue writing about Octamom and how the Angels in Waiting completely violated her privacy by talking to the media. According to Communication Privacy Management theory, they obviously violated the collective boundary. Right. Here it goes. C'mon 6 more pages. Do it do it do it.

Diary entries.

Sometimes I really just wish there was more time in the day. And then I think, no... you know, there's a good amount of time in the day, I just spent 2 and a half sleeping and another 2 and a half watching south park. It's my fault, not the days' fault. Tomorrow's gonna be another long one. How will I do it? I don't really know. I just know that today is ending abruptly and I don't want it to end in fear of all the things I have to do tomorrow. 

Riding low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there.

Last night I had a dream that Zack Morris and I made out. But it was like older, aged Zack Morris. Definitely him now, if you've seen whatever show he's on, I wanna say like Law and Order or something. He was also a dancer and had a shaved head. Never did I even have a crush on Zack Morris. What a weird mind I have.

Chickitee.

I can't wait to be home for the summer. Things are giving me anxiety slowly but surely. And the thought of just stopping and sitting in the sun with Lilo is absolutely divine. 

I love you. I'll wait for you.

I've had the most wonderful date. I made dinner from scratch which was so healthy. Finished a pint of Fat Tire and watched The Great Gatsby with the dreamy (younger) Robert Redford. Candlelit, of course. Now I'm making dessert and threw on Atonement (muuuch more swooning). Ah, I think I'm feeling rather romantical this evening. Thank God I have the best dates with myself!

And now the saga continues.

It is so hot in this room. I need air for days and days.

Jesusita!

Because I can't do anything about this, I have found myself frantically cleaning my room and now I'm doing laundry. In anxious times, this is what I do!

Ketchup.