I miss Lilo Marie Guzman.

I was so busy today!

Woke up at 5:30am.
Get to starbucks by 6:30.
Study with Alex for about 45 minutes (!!!!!)
Take my COMM midterm.... ugh. I was actually excited about this however, I felt prepared.
Leave early.
Go to bucks again, read some CS Lewis, ran into Phil.
Go home and grab a book for English.
Decide to skip Stats (since I know I'm not going to pass) and take a nap instead.
Wake up: 12:00pm.
Go to English.
Get out and get some Subway.
Meet Megan at the grassy knoll at 2pm.
Go home and run into Leanna.
We come back into my place. Chat.
Leave for class at 4:36pm.
Get to class.
Talks of religion and the battles in the Middle East.
Atheist boy. I wish I could just talk with you.
Feeling like I should say something but of course, I chicken out, in a room full of non believers. UGH.
Get out of class by 5:50.
Decide to go to the gym randomly.
Gym from 6:20-7.
Walk home, shower, quick blow dry.
Meet Sarah Gasca and Lauren for some discipleship time,
get into some deep convos.
The Diana phone call of the night at 9:20.
Lay in bed, facebook consumes me.
About to turn it off,
Nyrie (girl in my COMM class, looks like me but with green eyes, I have a crush on her) texts me that results are up for the midterm!
Fast!
Look at them.
I got a B!
I'm impressed with myself.
Usually, it's a C kinda thing for most students.
She got a C.
I thought I'd get an A, but let's not get too pushy, really.
Text Alex at 10. Tell him to look.
He got a C.
Super bummed.
I tried to build him up,
This was just a fluke! I know you'll do well in this class, it's just a challenge and you're so good at everything you do. Plus I don't think the curve is set yet.
-"I think it's already set."
-No, I think it's at the end of the quarter, anyways... don't be sad, it was such a hard test. You're hearts in this and you'll succeed, just wait and see!
-"Thanks. Goodnight."

How sad. What a sour puss.
I feel bad for the boy.
I'd be sad too!
But I mean shoot, I have to retake stats and I'm pretty sure I reacted a little better than this.
I feel like I made him do poorly because of the studying... :( Ugh.
Well.
Now I'm exhausted.
Work from 9-2 tomorrow.
NO.
I wish I could just bypass those hours.
Lame.
Okay.
I hope Alex doesn't think this is God telling him we shouldn't talk cause I mean, that's not what Gods telling me... so... poop.
Anyways.
Sleep is now.


ahhhhhhhhhlllllllliiiiiilllllooooooo

Alive alive alive alive alive alive alive.

Today, I was given a new life. Praise the Lord. I can finally be free!

I wasn't prepared for this...

So much is going on.

Yesterday:
Mom's phone call: It's all like Barbies anyway.
Jessie Martin: Why are you so happy? I just don't know what to believe. I haven't prayed in a while.
Dad: Just be careful, your mom and I know how powerful religion is and the wars that occur.

Today:
Waking up in a funk.
Mandana: SO INTENSE I can barely talk about it. Tears, lack of words, frustration.
Maaneli: Brief, will continue when she gets out of class.
(This last one actually went the best. She doesn't want me to judge others or be close-minded. I told her, because of this, I've never been more open-minded and less judging.)

All I can say, is that this baptism is becoming waaaay more exhausting than I bargained for.
I'll get into the details when I have the time.
And now, I have to get started on studying for my stats midterm tomorrow.

Great. Great. Great.

Superstition ain't the way.

I'm seriously so eexcciiteed for life these days.

So about 3 weeks ago, (the Thursday that Daniel came to Real Life with me) my bible study received these puzzle pieces as cards.
We each had our own piece with our names on them.
All it had was a date and time: Monday, the 9th @ 8.
We were all like whaaaaa? Huh?

The thing is: I didn't find out about this until later because Dan and I left right after church, so I had no clue.
WEIRD: Alex had my puzzle piece and didn't want to give it to me. Instead, he went up to Summer and told her to hand it to me because, "She's with her boyfriend and I don't know if I should approach her..." Which is weird, in itself? Why's it a big deal?

Anyways! Last night, as I was typing away frivolously about how war stories are consistently inconsistent, I went on Facebook. Got a message saying, "Next Monday, the 9th, the event will begin." From some guy who I definitely have never met. He goes to Real Life, but I neeeevverr have even seen him.

SO. At bible study tonight, we all realized that we each had a different message! So exciting! After some cut and pasting from each one of our inbox's, this is what was found:

Beautiful Transfer Women of UCSB
We are honored you would hang out with such men as we

At 8 'o' clock sharp, you must be in good form
When you meet us in front of the Santa Cruz Dorm

We just wish to bless you the way Boaz blessed Ruth.
So we hope you wonderful women bring a massive sweet tooth.

Make sure you dress warmly - we will be outside.
And dress a little nice, but not quite like a bride.

Next Monday, the 9th, the event will begin.
Do not show up late, for that might be a sin.

!!!!!
How fuuuuuuunnnnn.
I absolutely love this kinda stuff.
And from some boys?
So cryptic and yet so wonderful!

Anyways: that's my bit.
I have a midterm the next morning which is NO GOOD.
But whatever, I'll have to be ready.
I'm just excited for life.
And I'm extremely blessed.

I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place where we just met.

Basically, this is going to be the beginning of frantic writing.

I'm on paper #2 (out of 2 luckily) annnnddd I'm starting to lose creative juices. It's supposed to be 5-6 pages, which I KNOW, it's not that much. I've gotten 2 and a smidge of a page completed aaaannnddd I don't know what else to write about! I just don't! I don't know how else to talk about the stability that lies in the inconsistencies of war stories. I got out all my points! Can't papers just be that way? Say as much as you think you need to say. And that's it! Whoever wants to write more, go ahead and the rest of you, no worries. NOPE. Always a minimum.

Other news:
I haven't done anything this weekend but this. All day/night yesterday = paper #1. All day/night today= paper #2. And I don't knowwww how much more I can accomplish with that second guy.

I kind of lied. Last night, I went to the gym! It was great cause sitting in front of a computer screen for too long makes me go cross eyed (not really, but it's just tiring on the eyes). I went into this bigger part of the gym instead of the same place I'm used to. It's great and terrible all at once. Great because the treadmills/ellipticals have their own tvs/fans. Terrible in the sense that everyone in the room is so ridiculously vain that I just want to scream YOU ARE NOT IMPRESSING ANYONE. But I won't do that...

Also, I went to this Open Mic Night deal that Real Life was hosting. I wasn't planning on it! But I went cause Leanna was going and I felt really good about sweating off the caffeine residuals that lie in my blood, so I went. And I invited Tobi and he came! Love that little (not so little) boy. It was kinda cool, like a talent show, you know? But no other talents, just musical ones. No acts or skits. That one boy showed up and played a song, of course, cause we alllll know he is sooo talented. I just couldn't watch. He played some Taylor Swift song called Love Story... and started off saying, "Well, this song is for all the girls... the guys are gonna hate me." I just rolled my eyes, I couldn't watch! I had to walk away for some reason. I went to the back and sat with the staff, which great. He then proceeded to play his game with me. He'll stand somewhere in my line of vision and I'll just feel him there, watching me? Maybe? It drives me UP THE WALL. He even sat next to someone to the right of me and didn't sayyy anyytthiinngg to me. At the end of the night, I had to walk right past him and he kind of reached for me and said, "Ohhhhh don't act like you don't see me." Well, I replied, "Why? You do it to me all the time!" It was fun, I called him out and he was cute. And THEN, as I was walking away, I felt compelled to look behind me and he was looking at me with this face! I can't describe this look. No expression, just looking at me. Not creepy. More like honest and lingering? Ask me, I'll show you how it was.

Anyway, I went home and just talked and talked with Leanna. We always have these wonderful conversations. She just keeps telling me to guard my heart, just focus on me and let it all happen. I know. I will. I am. I'm learning to embrace what hasn't been said and let everything play out. I'm not going to try for anything. Granted, it doesn't mean my mind doesn't wander... all I'm saying is this: there is a whole world that I have not yet discovered, so much life to live and more and more and more papers to write and therefore, I will have carpal tunnel before I'm 25.

Furthermore, I miss Ms. Diana. We have this habit of talking at the end of the night and I miss it! She's my surrogate boyfriend. In her name, I made popcorn and have a little over a third of it left to consume!